Our Loves

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


It's been too long since my last update I know, but today I am just going to tell you about our day today and who our day was about. Today is a special day because today is Randy's Birthday!! I chose to ignore Randy and get him an actual birthday present this year even though he always tells me not to (just like I do, but I never really mean it like he does). So I ignored him and got him the one thing he has actually been saying he has been wanting lately - a charcoal grill. Not that exciting I know, but he swears charcoal grills are way more awesome than gas so since grilling is his thing I got him what he wanted. So I did my usual research to find out which one was the best budget friendly charcoal grill and I found it. And I have to say it was totally worth the surprise look on his face when he went in the garage to find it this morning. I think I like ignoring him about this no present business.

Now, here's the part I definitely do not do often enough and it's probably actually a true fault of mine. I do not thank Randy enough for the wonderful father he is and for all he does for our family! So since today is Randy's b-day I am going to give y'all a little glimpse at all he does and has done on the roller coaster that has been our life for the last 3 years.

It all started a little less than 3 years ago. From the first day we ended up in Labor and Delivery when I started having issues carrying the boys at around 22 weeks, Randy has been there with a brave face holding my hand along the way. Randy has slept on hospital chairs, fold out couches, air mattresses and he even slept on the cold floor in the PICU (which is a violation of the one parent in the room rule and probably the no parent sleeping on the floor rule) so that neither of us had to face these scary things alone. Randy has been an advocate/fighter first for me when a nurse or doctor made me mad or made me cry and then for Preston and Luke when they needed someone to stand up for them. He has stepped in when I have demanded that "they" (who ever at the time had made me mad) just needed to hear it from "the dad" because they were treating me like "the hysterical mom" even though I know his plate was already too full. He has spent countless hours fighting with our insurance company, doctors offices, and hospitals, often not even letting me in on the current denial at hand just so I don't have to worry. For all that I am so very, very grateful!!

That November day, one day after Preston's big cranial vault surgery, Randy raced from Preston's room at Medical City with me down to the ER when we found out that my Dad was having a heart attack and he cried and pleaded with God with me in the hallway there just like it was his own father. And then it was his own father there in the ER at Medical City two weeks later, except God's plan was different and this time the miracle we prayed so hard for didn't come for Randy's Dad in the way we were asking for it. His father did not make it out of the cardiac ICU. With Preston recovering from a gigantic skull surgery and also still suffering from failure to thrive because of his continuous vomiting, Luke also suffering from failure to thrive because he was refusing to eat, a father-in-law who only lived from a massive, killer heart attack by the grace of God, Randy sat with his Dad in the hospital and was able to tell him goodbye and let his Dad go peacefully. He honestly didn't have a full chance to properly grieve because of all that we were going through at the time (we were back in the hospital with both boys 3 weeks later for several weeks), but he has always remained thankful that God gave his father a full, healthy life for 80+ years and that his father did not suffer for long. How he has dealt with this loss amazes and perplexes me to this day. I still have days when the events of my Dad's heart attack brings me to my knees and I am sure Randy does the same in dealing with his father's passing, but he hides it well, too well.

Randy is the chief barf cleaner-uper! I certainly have to thank him for that. I usually take the barf soaked kid, whomever the culprit is at the moment and we head to the bath. But Randy doesn't get the one that, despite the frustration, sometimes anger and overwhelming feelings, with vomit coming out their nose, they find a smile through theirs tears that reminds you that didn't do this on purpose and they can't help that they have soaked your whole house, car and even their parent's with unbelievable amounts of puke for the last 32 months!! Nope Randy gets the car seat, the floor, the chair, the mattress, the walls that can't smile back at him. And I can tell you that alone should bring me to make him what ever dinner he wants every night of the week - or at least his pick of where we go out for dinner ;-).

Don't get me wrong this hasn't been an always rosey, adversity makes the heart grow founder kinda of thing. At times it has been, but at times we struggle in our relationship with knowing how to be there for one another in the way that the other needs them most. But there have been countless nights that Randy has flat out said he doesn't want to get into it and "deal" with my needs to talk about the things in life that are weighing on my heart, but in the end he listens and consoles me until the wee hours of the morning because he knows I need him.

We both agree that these acts are not extraordinary or things other parents wouldn't do when faced with similar situations, but the fact still remains that when called to action Randy has been the father that I always knew he would be and then he has done even more than I ever imagined he would have to do as a father. He is the one who walked into the NICU to find our tiny 3lb baby Luke getting an emergency chest tube inserted because one of his lungs was collapsing - not me. He has done way more or the dirty or heavier stuff than I have, trust me.

I think since I am the Mom people often tell me or compliment me more about how hard it must be to have twins or have a child/children with medical issues or special needs, but really day to day Randy is in it just about as much as I am and honestly if he wasn't I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay home with the boys every day if he wasn't here helping me day in day out. I am very proud of the father Randy is for the boys and I know his Dad is very proud of him, too! Randy's Dad loved little kids and really he even loved babies. He would cuddle the boys when they were swaddled up like baby burritos and he would also get down on the ground with the boys and "play" with them even though they were just little babies and just barely rolling over or pushing up. Randy has inherited that love from his Dad, too. When he is on the ground playing with Luke's train set or looking at books with Preston it reminds me of his Dad. I know how very proud he would be of Randy and the glow that would be on his face to see Randy playing with the boys, teaching them and even disciplining them. I know there are many more moments to come when Randy's Dad will be smiling down from heaven when Randy's teaches them to fish, ride their bikes and so much more.

Here's a throwback picture from the NICU! I think it is a very precious picture!!

Today was a great day! It was a great day to think about Randy and all he does for the boys and I and it was a great day to remember who shaped him into the father he is today. I know I do not tell you enough, but I do thank you so much for all that you day to make this crazy life, Our Crazy Life!!! I love you!!


  1. Your birthday tribute to Randy made me smile, then cry, then smile and cry again. He had two wonderful examples for how to parent as well as for how to be a true partner in marriage. Sounds like he learned well. Love to you all, Lesley

  2. I would love to hear move about the Carroll ISD PPCD program, we too are thinking of moving to Southlake, I know it is good but I don't know what is good about it.


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